Where is Betsy?

 

Airline: Turkish Airlines
Destination: Tbilisi, Georgia

Duration of stay: Three days.

It was a two hour flight from Istanbul to Tbilisi, without any remarkable interruptions. I took a taxi from the small airport of Tbilisi, which consists really of a one big hall with a dining area and some check-in counters. I had a reservation at Hotel Betsy’s which was up on the hills of Tbilisi. Nice small hotel with an outside swimming pool. Tbilisi is a nice city surrounded by mountains. My hotel was located at the top of a steep hill and I had to climb down to get to the town centre. I had to visit some clients in Georgia, which I did the first two days, so I could have the final day for myself to spend some time by the swimming pool.

My client took me to a restaurant where we ate some pizza. We were accompanied by his driver who didn’t speak any other language than Georgian. My client was fluent in Russian, English and Turkish. During our chat the driver sat silently not being able to join our conversation; whereupon my client explained me that he told various times to his driver that he needed to learn at least some English. The driver responded him with a joke, which the client translated it to me now:

A driver of a Georgian company was to pick up a client from the airport. His wife accompanied him to the airport since she needed to do some shopping at the mall that was close to the airport. The client, an educated Englishmen, arrived punctually and was welcomed by the driver and his wife, who was holding up a paper with the name of the client. Trying to be friendly the Englishmen tried to have a little chat with the couple. Not understanding a single word what the client said they would just look and said: we speak only Georgian; we don’t understand you. However, as educated as the client was he also was a persistent little fucker and bombarded them with the same question in various languages, hoping that they would speak at least some bits and pieces of any other language:

Do you speak English?

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?Parlez-vous français??
Hablas Español?
Parli Italiano?Você fala Português?

The couple just looked helpless and dropped their shoulders in embarrassment. Furious and embarrassed with her husband’s ignorance she started to complain about her husband: How many times have I told you to learn some foreign language, you lazy ass? Sitting all day in front of the TV, drinking your beer. Look, how the poor man is trying so hard to communicate with us! Such an educated man; speaking so many languages.

The driver looked at his wife and said:
Are you stupid, you cow? So what if he speaks 7-8 languages? He doesn’t speak MY language. He is still unable to communicate with us! So what’s the use of so many languages? At the moment he is as smart as I am!

I really laughed hard at this funny joke and enjoyed my delightful pizza, which was really good. Georgian people speak hardly any English so I relied on the most effective language of the world: sign language!
The next day I decided to take a taxi to do a little sightseeing and started to make some indescribable movements with my hands and fingers to the taxi driver explaining him my intentions; plus I spoke really slowly in English as if I was speaking to a moron. However, the taxi driver looked at me like I was the moron myself and said to me in decent English:

- What is wrong with you? Are you suffering some mental illness? 

- Maarrrrrrrrrriouttsss hhhhotelllll pleahseeeeee!

Embarrassed with my own stupidity, which I tried to hide by continuing with my little scam, I gave direction to take me to the Marriot’s hotel, where I would enjoy some good coffee and some decent meal.

There are nice buildings in Tbilisi and the people are rather friendly. However, I wouldn’t stay there longer than three days since there is not much to see. Yeah, yeah..I can hear them saying, what do you know moron..but then again, this is just my humble opinion.

Soundtrack of this trip: This is gonna hurt – Sixx AM.