OMG..I just ate Mr. Ed!!!

You remember the show Mr.Ed? the talking horse? when I was a kid I used to watch this black and white show on TV and was mesmerized by the idea to have a talking horse in one's backyard.  hey, don't judge me I was 6-7 years old,  what did I know? You believe in the easter bunny too so why not in a talking horse? by the way, you probably noticed how I emphasized the words 'black and white'. It was just to give you an idea of how old this dude is. Nahh! 42 is not old is it? I mean 40's are the new 30's right? am I right?
Other than my encounter with Mr. Ed as a kid I never cared for horses in my whole life. But our ways somehow crossed in a lavishly decorated restaurant in the dusty desert city of Astana, Kazakhstan. In the past two years I travelled three times to Kazakhstan, mostly to Almaty where I participated at exhibitions or visited customers. I was always accompanied by a customer during my trips so I didn't have to look for restaurants. that was a decision I left to my Kazakh friends. So this time they took me to an Uzbek restaurant somewhere in Astana. Don't ask me what it's called cause I can't remember. But it was a nice building and the waiters were dressed in traditional clothing. We were 7-8 people and we took a separate chamber, which we had all for ourselves. Of course, they ordered what they thought would be appropriate for my European stomach and I was delivered one dish after another. Most of them dishes were meat dishes like kebabs and whatnot and very delicious must I say. However, one dish that I was served was extremely delicious. Soft chunks of meat dipped in a sweet spicy sauce. Very nice. So I asked my friend what it was and he said it was meat horse. Of course I was shocked at first mainly because horses were a taboo thing to eat in Germany. We just don't eat this kind of stuff. We like 'Sauerbraten mit Knöddel or Schweinehachse mit Sauerkraut'. But horses? The lovely animals of our childhood heroes and best companion of John Wayne? What am I gonna do? I was torn and filled with guilt...but it lasted only a second!

I stabbed my fork into that soft meat and ate it. Yes, I did it. As delicious as this dish was, the drink I was served was disgusting. It's called Kymyz and it's the milk of a mare but it's fermented. So it has some alcohol in it but it was very sour. Didn't work for me. I stuck with my coke. Most of the dishes were served with pilav. Some rice dish that is also very common in Turkey. Actually most of the Kazakh dishes had Turkish names, which is normal I think considering that both countries have common anchestors. But then again, eating horse meat is also a taboo in Turkey since it is considered a vulgarity. It's a sacred animal. There is some sort of horse worship in Turkic cultures. You don't eat your friend, right? 

Votka is deadly!

On the 7th of September I took a flight to Almaty with Air Astana, which was an okay flight. The food was ok, window seat was ok, and no passenger in the middle seat is very ok. Movie was a flick called Arthur, which was a shitty piece but acceptable during a five hour flight. My customer had booked a hotel for me, called Kazzhol, where I checked in around 07.00 pm.

Surprisingly I had to pay upfront for my reservation, which was somewhat expensive but then again every hotel in Almaty is expensive. I dropped my bags in the luggage room and headed straight to a restaurant where my customer was dining with wife and friends. I was served some delightful meat and salads, which turned out to be horse meat. Not bad at all! I have never ridden a horse but I’m proud to say that I have eaten one. That should count for something too.

I was introduced to the friends and we started taking shots of vodka, which was accompanied by a toast/speech. We were six people at the table and I had to make a speech twice. This should give you an idea about the amount of vodka that I had digested at the end. The effects of my unfortunate consumption of this deadly liquid were presented to me during the morning hours, where I woke up to salute the porcelain god. He was not pleased to talk to me, whereas my sentiments were totally the contrary. I felt relieved getting rid of the horse meat from my stomach..oh yeah, and the vodka too of course. Even the thought of the smell made me feel dizzy. Clearly, I was not a man of speeches. 

The second day we went to this useless exhibition, where I could almost sleep off my hangover since nobody showed the slightest interest in our products. This could also be related to the fact that I still smelled vodka and bawled at people that approached the stand, throwing them deadly looks in case they dared to talk to me and interrupt my sleep. After the successful exhibition we went straight to another restaurant, where they urged me to make a toast, again. 
Again, there were six of us but I’m proud to say that I have declined bravely with every bone in my body to take a sip of their venomous poison. Again they took turns and gave a speech to their glass of vodka and I gave mine with a glass of coke. This led to some mocking I believe, but I am just assuming this since they spoke in Russian..oh yeah, and they were giggling and laughing, pointing at me with their fingers. Especially the wife must have thought of me as a pussy but I did not care since my stomach assured me that it was the right thing to do. It was not ready to salute the deity again nor was I. 

Back at the hotel with the smelly elevator. Seldom have I entered an elevator that smelled so bad. The room was clean and my bed was a king size bed. So it was again ok. The final day at the exhibition was again lacking any visitors that were worth to mention. I bribed the men of the transport company so they could deliver the box earlier to my booth. Thus I could start with the packing and leave as early as possible. I took an early flight again with Air Astana and was planning already my next trip to Baku, Azerbaijan.